Writings from the Desk of Kelly Sisco

Live Your Life Out Loud !!

More Stressed Out Than Me. I Never Thought I’d Know Such a Person.

Changing moods but mostly in an uneasy state.
Hyper with nothing but my own thoughts, which keep racing.
Is this the state that God intended for me?
I surely hope not. I wouldn’t want this feeling for anyone else.
Recently, I met this guy, a new friend,
who is more stressed out than me.
How can that be you ask? I too was surprised.

Should he tell his parents today,
or should he keep waiting and holding off
about what has been nagging at him for weeks now.
He needs to tell someone who can be of more help than me
or that nagging feeling will never go away.
Apparently, sharing with me is really not helping him.
He is in return not helping my stress.
Actually probably giving me stress.
But what is a friend to do?
It’s hard to watch someone whom you know is in pain and do nothing.
Wait, he probably does not even realize that he is in pain.
What can you do when someone only lets you in
as far as they will allow.
They let you into only half of their life, only into half of their true feelings
and only half is what they want you to be a part of.

Can’t go on like this, It’s affecting him too badly.
Just living everyday is a struggle, is a damn struggle.
Where does he turn to for help?
He keeps driving around for hours and hours never really getting anywhere, knowing that if he felt more comfortable with himself
and the world around him, he might be able to survive.
He shakes and so do I. He does not know where to go,
so he goes everywhere hoping to find something
and not knowing exactly what that something is after all.

Does anyone love me? Does anyone care?
He calls out to certain people but only to be using them in the end. Hopefully he realizes the selfishness behind that.
I tell him all about my stress.
How I can totally relate, but he is barely listening.
He is too caught up in his own head and in his own thoughts.
Is this how a true friend acts?

Can I help him to overcome what he is feeling
or does he really want me to do nothing for him anyway.

Life seems unfair that people like him and me should go through this bad state, which has begun to take over our lives.
When will we be able to say we are okay?
When will our bodies finally relax?
I gave him my time but that was not enough for him.
Something more was needed.
Something more is needed for me too.
But when will enough be enough?
Will we ever answer these questions
or will they forever just be questions?




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This entry was posted on June 22, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
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